Pretend Exercise - Questions to Ask a Protector Part

If you’re using this in an exercise to ask another person about their parts, exchange X with the other person’s name. For example, as opposed to saying “what is your hope for X?” you can ask “What is your hope for Sasha”

X = other person’s name

  1. Introduction and Building Rapport
    • “Hello, I see you there. Can you say more about yourself?”
  2. Understanding the Part’s Role
    • “What is your hope for X by doing what you do or feeling the way you do?”
      • “What positive outcomes/feelings are you seeking for X?”
    • “How do you try to help X or protect X ?”
    • “How long have you been with X?”
    • “What is your name or what would you like X to call you?”
  3. Exploring Motivations and Intentions
    • “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do this job?”
    • “What is your main concern or worry?”
    • “Is there anything ELSE you’d like X to understand about you?”
  4. History and Origin
    • “When did you first take on this role?”
    • “Was there a specific event or time when you felt the need to protect X in this way?”
    • “How have you evolved over time?”
  5. Feelings Toward the Self [THE PERSON]
    • “What do you see when you look at X?”
    • “Do you know who X is?
    • “Do you trust X to hear you without judgment?”
  6. Relationship with Other Parts
    • “Are there other parts you’re particularly concerned about?”
    • “Which parts do you interact with the most?”
    • “Are you protecting a specific part or parts?”
  7. Concerns and Fears
    • “What are you afraid would happen to X if you didn’t do your job?”
      • And then what would happen?
      • How do you know that? Has that (what you’re afraid of) ever happened to X before? Can you show X some memories of that?
  8. Expressing Appreciation
    • “I appreciate all you’ve done for X. How does it feel to hear that?”
    • “Is there anything you’d like acknowledgment for?”
    • “How can X show you gratitude for your hard work?”
  9. Future Aspirations
    • “If you didn’t have to do this protective job, what would you rather be doing?”
    • “What are your hopes for the future?”
  10. Clarifying Misunderstandings
    • “Is there anything you think X misunderstand about you?”
    • “Do you feel misunderstood or ignored by other parts?”
    • “How can X better understand your perspective?”
  11. Safety and Trust
    • “What would help you feel safer in this process?”
    • “How can X earn your trust?”
    • “Are there boundaries you’d like X to respect?”
  12. Feedback for the Self
    • “Do you have any requests or suggestions for X?”
    • “Is there something you’d like X to do differently?”
    • “How can X support you better?”

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