Common Roadblocks in IFS and How to Overcome Them
Navigating the Challenges of IFS Therapy
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a powerful way to connect with your inner world, heal old wounds, and cultivate Self-leadership. š±āØ But like any journey worth takingāthink of hiking up a mountain or learning to bake the perfect soufflĆ©āthere can be roadblocks along the way! Sometimes we canāt access our calm, compassionate Self, or we bump into Parts that stubbornly refuse to cooperate. Donāt worry; these challenges often signal that deeper healing is on the horizon. šŗļø
Learn more about IFS Basics here
Below, weāll look at the most common IFS hurdles, why they pop up, and how to move through them with clarity and confidence. Letās dive in!
1. Struggling to Access Self-Energy šæ
The Challenge
In IFS, your Self is like an inner compassācalm, wise, and compassionate. But when your mind feels like a busy airport (with Protectors, Exiles, and everything in between), it can be tough to find that peaceful Self-energy. āØ
Example: A client says, āI donāt feel any compassion for my PartsāIām just annoyed and overwhelmed!ā
Why It Happens
- Protectors distrust or āhideā the Self to avoid pain.
- Past trauma may block a sense of safety or calm.
- A loud or skeptical Part can overshadow your inner leader.
How to Overcome It
- Grounding First: Practice breathwork, body scans, or gentle movement to calm your system.
- Ask Questions: āWhich Part of me is blocking my Self right now?ā
- Reframe Language: Say āA Part of me is blocking Selfā instead of āI canāt feel Self.ā Youāll soon notice the difference! š
What is SELF in IFS?
2. Resistant Protectors: āI Donāt Want to Go Thereā š
The Challenge
Protectors are like overprotective friendsāthey mean well but can sometimes halt progress. They might make you question the therapy process or cause you to shut down emotionally. š¤
Example: A client thinks, āThis is silly,ā or āI donāt believe IFS will work for me.ā
Why It Happens
- Protectors worry that touching pain will flood you with overwhelm.
- A Manager Part fears losing control.
- Firefighters jump in to numb or distract when feelings get intense.
How to Overcome It
- Speak to the Skeptic: Ask, āWhat are you afraid will happen if I keep doing this work?ā
- Validate Concerns: Let your Protector know itās heard and respected.
- Gentle Metaphors: āWeāre just unlocking the door; we donāt have to open it yet.ā Itās all about trust-building. š
What are Protectors in IFS?
3. Blending: When a Part Takes Over š
The Challenge
Blending occurs when a Partās emotions or beliefs become so powerful that you feel entirely fused with it. Itās like wearing colored glasses without realizing itāyou see everything through that Partās lens. š¤Æ
Example: Instead of saying, āA Part of me feels worthless,ā you say, āI am worthless.ā
Why It Happens
- Certain Parts (often Critics or anxious Parts) can be very loud.
- The idea of āstepping backā from your feelings may be totally new.
How to Overcome It
- Parts Language: Encourage āA Part of me feelsā¦ā instead of āI amā¦.ā
- Visual Separation: āIf this Part had a shape or color, what would it look like?ā
- Physical Gestures: Placing a hand on your heart and saying, āIām here, and I see you, Part,ā can create gentle distance. ā¤ļø
4. Overwhelming Exiles: Emotional Flooding š
The Challenge
Sometimes, when an Exile (a wounded Part) carries a lot of painālike grief or shameāaccessing it too quickly can feel like a tidal wave of emotion. š
Example: A client starts to connect with a grieving Exile but is suddenly overcome with sobbing and canāt stay present.
Why It Happens
- Intense trauma or deep hurt is stored in the Exile.
- Protectors havenāt agreed to step aside, making the process unsafe.
- The client might not have strong grounding skills yet.
How to Overcome It
- Pace Yourself: Check in with Protectors to ensure theyāre on board.
- Somatic Grounding: Practice slow breathing, hold a comforting object, or use guided imagery to stay anchored.
- Reassure the Exile: āI see you. Weāll move at a pace that feels safe.ā Patience is key! ā³
What are EXILES in IFS?
5. Stuck Parts: āThis Part Wonāt Talk to Meā š¤
The Challenge
Some Parts are like shy kittensāno matter how much you coax them, they stay hidden under the couch. Clients might worry theyāre doing something āwrongā if a Part stays silent. š±
Example: āI ask my Part what it needs, but I get total silence.ā
Why It Happens
- The Part might not trust Self yet.
- It could be sending images or feelings instead of words.
- Itās burdened by pain or fear and canāt āspeakā right away.
How to Overcome It
- Normalize Silence: Sometimes Parts prefer to communicate through body sensations or emotions.
- Try Different Media: Journaling, art, or even music can give a Part a non-verbal way to express itself.
- Permission Granted: Let the Part know itās okay to remain quietāitās not under pressure to perform. š¤
6. Impatience: Wanting Faster Results ā³
The Challenge
IFS is a deep, gradual process, like nurturing a garden from seed to bloom. But some clients (and letās face it, some therapists!) want rapid solutions. š·ā”
Example: A client says, āI just want this feeling gone. Why isnāt IFS fixing it faster?ā
Why It Happens
- A strong Manager Part wants control and quick solutions.
- Past therapy models might have been more goal-oriented and direct.
- The client is tired of feeling pain and craves immediate relief.
How to Overcome It
- Reframe the Journey: Healing is not a sprintāitās a mindful walk.
- Identify the Impatient Part: āWhich Part of me is pushing for a quick fix?ā
- Celebrate Small Wins: Even noticing and naming a Part is huge progress! š
Enhance Your IFS Journey with the IFS Guide App š±āØ
The IFS Guide App offers 24/7 AI-guided IFS Sessions, Daily Check-Ins, adaptive Self-Healing Meditations, and Parts Mapping to visualize your Parts’ relationships. Additionally, you can join the In-App Community, explore guided Trailheads, set Reminders, and Track Parts to support your teamās shift toward Self-led leadership in real time.
DOWNLOAD IFS GUIDE APP HEREš
Conclusion: Overcoming Roadblocks in IFS š
Every roadblock in IFS isnāt a dead endāitās more like a sign that reads, āWork needed here!ā Whether youāre wrestling with skeptical Protectors or feeling swamped by overwhelming Exiles, these challenges offer a chance to strengthen trust, deepen awareness, and cultivate Self-leadership. š
Remember: healing isnāt about muscle-flexing or steamrolling through your Parts; itās about gentle curiosity, patience, and respect for each layer of your inner world. Keep going, keep exploring, and celebrate each step forwardāyouāve totally got this! šāØ
Monthly IFS Workshops & Challenges!
Every month we organize online workshops to help you get a deeper understanding of IFS!
FAQ
A:Ā People may struggle to access Self-energy due to the presence of protective parts that distrust or hide the Self to avoid pain, past traumas blocking a sense of safety, or loud and skeptical parts overshadowing the inner leader.
A:Ā Overcoming resistance from Protectors involves speaking directly to these parts, validating their concerns, and using gentle metaphors to build trust, such as reassuring them that “we’re just unlocking the door; we donāt have to open it yet.”
A:Ā Blending occurs when an individual becomes overly identified with a part’s emotions or beliefs. It can be addressed by using parts language (e.g., saying “A part of me feels…” instead of “I am…”), visualizing the part as separate, and using physical gestures to create distance.
A:Ā If a Part remains silent, it’s helpful to normalize this silence, try different forms of communication like journaling or art, and give the Part permission to communicate in its own time and way.
A:Ā The IFS Guide App supports IFS therapy by providing AI-guided IFS sessions, daily check-ins, self-healing meditations, parts mapping, and community interactions to help users practice IFS techniques and improve their inner work.